


Separation

by RainbowMech (charlion_em)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Underage Drinking, still cadets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8105242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlion_em/pseuds/RainbowMech
Summary: anonymous asked:can you do shiro/matt? Something before they leave for Kerberos





	

 

Shiro watched Matt from the corner of his eye, still refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Matt’s constant chatter about a new research paper he read helped keep him grounded, focused on something other than the growing ache in his chest.

The bottle Matt had casually pressed into his hand earlier sat unopened on his bedside table. How his friend even managed to sneak them into the barracks was a mystery he really didn’t need an answer to.

“It’s almost one in the morning, Matt.”

“Yea? If you want me to shut up and go to bed, then why are you grinning?” Rose dusted cheeks were highlighted by a wide smile.

Shiro counted three empty bottles next to him on the floor. “I never said that. Just… the mission rosters are being posted tomorrow. We should get some sleep.”

Matt shook his head, “You don’t get it, do you?” He pointed to the beer in his hand. “It doesn’t matter where I place. Everyone will assume I only got it because of my father.”

Without hesitation, Shiro slid off his bunk to join Matt on the floor. It was a fear which followed Matt since their first day as cadets, one which was only reinforced by their fellow students.

“I shouldn’t even be going on an off-planet mission. There is nothing exceptional about me, I’m just… I'm…”

“Matt, you’re the top bioengineer in our class.” Shiro wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him flush against his side. It was a partially selfish act, a reassurance that Matt was still there, even if it was only in friendship. “They’d be doing the academy a disservice by not sending you on a collection mission. You’re far more than exceptional, I’d venture to say perfect. ”

Matt shoved further into Shiro’s side and buried his face against his shoulder. “I’m far from perfect. Perfect implies I have nothing left to learn, and we both know I do. If not, what’s the point?”

He leaned back up, meeting Shiro’s eyes. “Thank you. You always know what to say.” His easy smile sent Shiro’s heart thumping in his chest.

It was always so easy with Matt… and yet so complicated. Despite Matt’s words and reassuring smile, Shiro knew he was still troubled.

They sat in silence, holding to each other for comfort. He held his breath as Matt scooted closer, until he was almost in Shiro’s lap.

“Shiro?” Matt bit his lip, looking away from Shiro’s sharp gaze. “About what Renee said…”

His years of combat training helped keep his breathing steady as adrenaline began to pump into his system. “Renee is a jerk.”

“He’s right though.” Matt focused on his hands. “Whatever happens tomorrow, whether I deserve my assignment or not, or if I don’t even get one… We won’t see each other for months.”

Shiro swallowed. ’ _What are you two love birds going to do without each other? Holt, can you even survive without your savior there to catch you?’_

“Matt. A few months isn’t going to make us any lesser of friends.” The ache in his heart decided to remind him it was still there, twisting painfully. He could be strong for Matt.

Matt pulled away, cold air filling the small divide. “I…” He shook his head. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

“What?” Shiro reached out, seeking contact, any contact. “Do you really think a few months will change us that much?”

Matt stared ahead, not reacting to Shiro’s hand on his arm.

“Matt.” His voice sounded strained to his own ears, raw and needy. When Matt’s only response was to knit his eyebrows, Shiro dropped his grip on his arm. Everything faded around him. “Matt?”

“S-sorry.”

Matt moved with suddenly, rolling over and crowding Shiro. He hovered over him, placing a shaky hand on the other side of Shiro. The smell of beer lingered on his lips, and they tasted bittersweet. It was just a quick press, a whisper of a kiss, then he sat back, studying Shiro.

“Matt.” Shiro whispered his name, afraid anything louder would wake him from such a sweet dream.

Matt surged forward again, this time pressing his lips into Shiro’s with vigor. Matt’s lips moved against Shiro’s, demanding more, more, more. Shiro’s hands found his hips, squeezing gently. Matt moaned against his lips, and Shiro needed to hear that sweet sound again, and again.

When they broke apart, Matt’s hands were in his hair, pulling insistently. It was so easy, could be so easy. But the smell of beer pulled Shiro back to reality.

“Matt.” He gripped his wrists, guiding his hands away from his hair. Soft brown eyes blinked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Matt, we _can_ ’ _t._ ”

He may as well have reached in and pulled out his own heart. Everything he wanted. Matt and going off planet. And he could only have one.

“Shit.” Matt scrambled backwards to his bunk. “I- Shiro. I don’t- friends. We can just stay friends.”

Shiro tried to steady his breathing. “You’re drunk, Matt.”

“I’m so sorry. Don’t hate me.” He pulled his knees up, resting his head on top of them.

“Whoa.” Shiro scooted over to Matt. “I’ll never hate you. Never.” He dipped down until his forehead brushed against Matt’s.

Matt immediately turned his head, breaking the intimate contact. “But, just friends, right?”

Shiro wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders, “Ask me again when you’re sober.”

“I’m not drunk.” He relaxed against Shiro’s chest. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. Okay, bed.” He shifted his arm lower, pulling Matt against his chest. As much as he’d love to hold him forever, whispering love and reassurance in his ear, he knew he needed to be the responsible one.

Once Matt was in bed, Shiro gently removed his glasses and set his alarm for him. Then he crossed to his own bed, all while pointedly ignoring the soft brown eyes staring after him. If he looked at that handsome face, he was sure his resolve would crash around him.

He rolled to face the wall. It wouldn’t do to have Matt see him touching his lips, the ghost if their kiss still lingering. Would he still feel the same in the morning? Or was this just his drunk mind telling him to hold on in any way he could?

When sleep finally took him, it was full of rejections and failure.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Alarms didn’t bother him. They meant he had something to do, something important enough to bother to set it. It wasn’t uncommon for him to wake up before they even sounded, the drive to succeed greater than his need for sleep.

It was a blaring, off beat sound. Like any other day, Shiro rolled over to swat at the button, ready to start his day. But today, as he rolled he met slight resistance. After he pressed the ‘off’ button, he studied the form next to him.

Matt, at some point in the night, had climbed into his bed. His face was buried in the side of Shiro’s pillow, his brown hair a tangled mess. One arm laid across Shiro’s waist, a heavy reminder of the previous night.

It was a scene he’d only dreamed about before: Waking up next to Matt, in the same bed instead of across the room, softly kissing him until he stirred from his dreams.

But, this was no dream. And the alarm and Shiro’s movements woke Matt up. Shiro could only watch, mouth dry, as Matt rolled over to his back.

“Mm? Shiro? Why are you in my bed?”

“This is my bed.” He couldn’t help the sly smile. “I think drunk you got lost on his way back from the bathroom or something.”

Matt sat bolt upright, Shiro had to move his head away to prevent a painful collision. “Oh, shit.”

“How much do you remember?” Shiro nervously picked at his fingernails.

“I wasn’t _that_ drunk.” He turned to his side so he was fully facing Shiro. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have… you know.”

“You’re an incredible light weight.”

“Ah, don’t joke now. I’m trying to apologize.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I do recall I kissed you back.”

“You did? You did!” His eyes found Shiro’s, hopeful and full of longing.

Later that morning they would get their assignments, their final tests before graduating. There was no time for subtle questions, to dance around the issue so no one’s heart was broken.

“It wasn’t just a drunk thing? I mean, did you only kiss me because you were drunk?”

“I- yes.” Matt grabbed at his hand, “I’ve wanted to… for a while. I was just too chicken shit. Your friendship is too important, I didn’t mess us up, did I?”

With his other hand, Shiro reached out to gently cup the side of Matt’s face. “Is this okay?”

With a slight nod from Matt, Shiro slowly leaned forward until his lips grazed Matt’s. “I’m going to miss you. But, it’s only a few months.”

“That’s too long. We should have been doing this a long time ago. Just a small taste of you isn’t going to sustain me. It’s just a tease.”

“I know I’ve said this before, but you talk way too much.” Shiro punctuated his sentence with another quick kiss. “Let’s go check our assignments. Then,” he leaned so their foreheads brushed, “we can celebrate properly.”

Matt tensed up. “You’re a pilot.”

“Yeah?”

“The best. What if they give you something really dangerous? Or what if I find something new and it tries to eat me? What if we never see each other again?”

Shiro chuckled, reached up to run his fingers through Matt’s hair. “We’re still cadets technically. They won’t give us something we can’t handle.”

“Right.”

Shiro laid back down, “Come here. We still have some time before they post.”

The warm weight on his chest was truly perfection. “I’m going to dream about this- you in my arms- every night until we get back.”

Matt’s grip around his waist tightened. “Me too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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